Bill Gates
From the Un-Mario Wiki, the Mario no-ledge-base.
Bill Gates was born in the year 56 B.C. He owns pretty much everything. Never tell Bill Gates that you don't work for him, because he will just smile and say, "That's what you think". One time, he said that to the president, and that was true, since the president works for the people of America, and 99.9% of the people of America work for Bill Gates. So it's only logical that we are actually being governed by Bill Gates.
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[edit] Biography
[edit] Early Life
Bill Gates was once a monkey named George. George is from the Sun. He had to leave when the sun got angry. This took place when George was young. At age 7, I think. At age 10 he moved here. The dim-witted mushroom people were easily tricked into slavery by him. He quickly grew bored, changed his name to Bill Gates, and moved here. His vacation home is here. This is known as the Great Revelation.
[edit] After the Great Revelation
At age 678 he had seven sweet little children, who were later adopted by his cousin. His only true friends are these guys here. They were the original residents of Toad Town. These "Goombas" are now known as traitors, who were brainwashed by Gates to betray the Toads. After leading the Goombas in rebellion, he then had his eighth son, who was also taken into his cousin's home. This era was known as The Between Times.
[edit] Company Takeover
Once, one of Bowser's other cousins from the Mushroom Kingdom founded a computer company based on "kindness, free customer service, and fantastic Operating Systems". Naturally, Bill Gates didn't want any of that, so he bought Nedzer Enterprises just so he could get rid of it. It is now rumored that Nedzer Enterpises as well as its OS is locked in a vault somewhere on Cheese Land. Now the company has changed its name to 'Microsoft'[1] with a main goal, not to make operating systems, but to destroy the Apple Federation by releasing copies of all their products.
[edit] The Rold and Gold Age
Bill Gates had a series of good years known as the Gold and Rold Age. It was during this time he squashed the great Toad Revolt, and sentenced Gooma and her husband, Goompa to a small home outside Toad Town.
[edit] Ties to Mario
Bill Gates has had a few encounters with Mario. A couple of times Mario went after Bowser, the Koopa King pushed blame to his cousin Bill. His relationship with the Mario family has changed in recent years, however. He recently started employing Mario's cousins Wario and Waluigi. These two were involved in the design of the X-Box controller. They are now secretly working on the iX-Box.
[edit] Inventions
[edit] X-Box
The X-Box is a rival to consoles such as the Nintendo Game Triangle and PS2 and is, to be diplomatic, much moar awesome. Rumor has it that without the existence of some all-powerful addictive device called Halo, no one would buy the X-Box.
[edit] iX-Box
The iX-Box is being billed as Bill's greatest work. It has "i" in front in order to play off the success of the products of the Apple Federation. His two best workers, Wario and Waluigi are currently working on it.
[edit] Specs
A 3.7 Giga-Chuck Norris proccessor and extremely Small Buttons that cost extra. Screen sold seperatly.
[edit] His Greatest Creation
Arguably Bill Gate's greatest creation was R.O.B. - or Robotic Operating Bot. Nintendo saw this great creation as a threat, and subsequently bought the rights to R.O.B.
[edit] Leisure Time
Bill Gates is also an avid fan of the JumpStart Series. He is currently on the kindergarten disk, having finally beat the PRE-K disk after years of trying. He plans on working his way up to 2nd grade. If only he knew his alphabet.
| Pwned: Peach, Nedzer | Owner of the Known Universe All Eternity | Was pwned by: Incumbent |
