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Bill Gates
UnflatteringGates

A very unflattering photograph of Bill Gates.

Real Name: Bill Belphagor Gates
Birth: June 8th, 1123
Age: Old
Health: Wealth
Family and relatives: Unknown
Impostor(s) Bill Cosby, Bill Clinton, Billy Peltzer and all people named Bill (according to him)
Death: Undead

Bill Gates is the corrupt Chairman of Microsoft and Rules the United States. He owns pretty much everything. Never tell Bill Gates that you don't work for him, because he will just smile and say, "That's what you think". One time, he said that to the president, and that was true, since the president works for the people of America, and 99.9% of the people of America work for Bill Gates. So it's only logical that we are actually being governed by Bill Gates. He even killed Rare since 2002.

Biography

Early life

Bill Gates was once from hell. This took place when George was young. At age 7, I think. At age 10 he moved here. The dim-witted mushroom people were easily tricked into slavery by him. He quickly grew bored, changed his name to Bill Gates, and moved here. His vacation home is here. This is known as the Great Revelation.

After the Great Revelation

At age 678 he had seven sweet little children, who were later adopted by his cousin. His only true friends are these guys here. They were the original residents of Toad Town. These "Goombas" are now known as traitors, who were brainwashed by Gates to betray the Toads. After leading the Goombas in rebellion, he then had his eighth son, who was also taken into his cousin's home. This era was known as The Between Times.

Company Takeover

Once, one of Bowser's other cousins from the Mushroom Kingdom founded a computer company based on "kindness, free customer service, and fantastic Operating Systems". Naturally, Bill Gates didn't want any of that, so he bought Nedzer Enterprises just so he could get rid of it. It is now rumored that Nedzer Enterpises as well as its OS is locked in a vault somewhere on Cheese Land. Now the company has changed its name to 'Microsoft'[1] with a main goal, not to make operating systems, but to destroy the Apple Federation by releasing copies of all their products.

The Rold and Gold Age

Bill Gates had a series of good years known as the Gold and Rold Age. It was during this time he squashed the great Toad Revolt, and sentenced Gooma and her husband, Goompa to a small home outside Toad Town.

What Happened To Bill?

After The Rold and Gold Age, he found out that Weegee is now vunerable due to the Stare Seal put on him. Weeks later, he concocted a plan to get Weegee and meld him with a computer to make Weegeeuter. He destroyed all of the guards but one, Deidara. Deidara knew that Bill Gates would be coming, and before that he developed a new move called Pwnsu. Deidara pwnsued Bill and sent him to Hell. Bill met The Devil and he is currently planning his revenge.

Ties to Mario

Bill Gates has had a few encounters with Mario. A couple of times Mario went after Bowser, the Koopa King pushed blame to his cousin Bill. His relationship with the Mario family has changed in recent years, however. He recently started employing Mario's cousins Wario and Waluigi. These two were involved in the design of the X-Box controller. They are now secretly working on the iX-Box.

Inventions

Gates

Bill Gates, in one of his rare lazy moments.

X-Box

The X-Box is a rival to consoles such as the Nintendo Game Triangle and PS2 and is, to be diplomatic, much moar awesome. Rumor has it that without the existence of some all-powerful addictive device called Halo, no one would buy the X-Box.

iX-Box

The iX-Box is being billed as Bill's greatest work. It has "i" in front in order to play off the success of the products of the Apple Federation. His two best workers, Wario and Waluigi are currently working on it.

Specs

A 3.7 Giga-Chuck Norris processor and extremely Small Buttons that cost extra. Screen sold seperatly.

His Greatest Creation

Arguably Bill Gate's greatest creation was R.O.B. - or Robotic Operating Bot. Nintendo saw this great creation as a threat, and subsequently bought the rights to R.O.B.

Leisure Time

Bill Gates is also an avid fan of the JumpStart Series. He is currently on the kindergarten disk, having finally beat the PRE-K disk after years of trying. He plans on working his way up to 2nd grade. If only he knew his alphabet.


Pwned:
Peach, Nedzer, and Croco.
Owner of the Known Universe
All Eternity
Was pwned by:
Deidara

Nim-Nom Ares Medusa and Nobody.


Operation: Noob Wars

In 2856, Bill Gates started a rebellion against the JumpStart series creators. Bill reached 2nd grade level, but his game was destroyed and it was the last copy in the Unverse. The creators did not make that game anymore, so Gates made an alliance with the Nick Jr. Staff. They refused, and Bill Gates cloned himself 50 times. This was enough to persuade the Staff to join him, and they raided the Company Castle. 257 Noob Guardians emerged, and an epic fight ensued. Needless to say, Bill Gates, the clones and the Nick Jr. Staff won, and confronted the main compound. They were about ot fight the company, but the SheeBookie emerged. The other SheeBookie sat on the sidelines while Bartholomew Kuma and Johnny C. single handedly crushed everyone. The real Bill Gates escaped, but he was shot into space by Barack Obama. Bill is currently floating through space, planning his ROBOT RAMPGE TO REMOVE VAQ M

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