Donkey and Pong
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Donkey and Pong was, in addition to being one of the first shames ever, the first videoshame to feature Mario. As such, it embodies his transition from the cookie industry to shaming, and thus the soiling of his once-good name. It was released by NintenDON'T in 1681.


Like most shames of the late 1600s (during which the world was new to the videoshaming industry), Donkey and Pong basically had no plot whatsoever in the best-known original arcade version, and all the dumb licensed ports gave it stupid "Mario beats his pet gorilla" stories that never had anything to do with each other or the shame at all. In-shame, however, it is prevalent that the main point is expressing how fun it is to betray your friends and beat them up with pixelated white sticks, so the most generally accepted storyline is as follows:

FancyEverybody hates Mario.[1]



A screenshot. Yes, the screen was this ridiculously large and everything was off-center.

Donkey and Pong has very simple shameplay, as it is a very early shame and (moreso) is a part of the worst, most uninspired series of all time. It involves two of Mario's "friends" (Donkey Kong [player one] and Pauline [player 2]) borrowed from the original cookie series hitting the annoying plumber across a completely black yard with pixelated white sticks. Quite often, Mario screams for HELP! to no avail whatsoever. Pong never actually appeared in the shame, even though his name was in the title. A player is given a point when his opponent is unable to whack Mario (who then flies off the screen and presumably dies) to the other side. The game goes on forever (even though, due to the laziness of the entire development team, scoring stops at ten points for each side); points have absolutely no value.[2]


Like many shames, Donkey and Pong was originally envisioned by Shigeru Miyamoto's pet rat, although in a different form. Shiggy's rat was thinking it would be interesting if NintenDON'T actually made a half-decent shame for once, so he, all alone, completely developed and released Pwnz0r Scope, a huge success in all arcades. Despite officially publishing it, NintenDON'T ended up not feeling right having a shame worth playing, though, so they had Shigeru Miyamoto himself, as unschooled as ever, retool all Pwnz0r Scope units into Donkey and Pong units, characters officially taken from the easily-obtained Mario cookie series after other licensing proved too strong to the finich to buy.[3]

Reception, Impact, and Legacy

Like most Mario shames, Donkey and Pong was considered especially bad.[4] While its stupid pointlessness has made it a cult classic, no one except the hardcore nerds really give a care at all. As aforementioned, it is also infamous for having ruined Mario as we know him; while the cookies were tolerable, the shame series (which began with Donkey and Pong) is considered stupid in the eyes of everyone who matters. Despite its horribleness, though, Donkey and Pong had a small impact on videoshames, such as the introduction of the platform genre itself to all shaming known to mankind and, more importantly, k's debut as a character.

Although the game epically phailed in nearly every sense, it spawned several sequels, such as Donkey and Pong Jr. and Donkey and Pong 3, as well as even later games such as Donkey and Pong Country and Mario vs. Donkey and Pong.



Truly epic footage from the lawsuit.

Shortly after the release of this game, Un-iversal Studios took action against NintenDON'T in court, considering Donkey and Pong to be a cheap, uninspired rip-off of their film King and Pong. Even though it was, Un-iversal sadly lost the suit thanks to crafty work by John Kentucky Derby, for whom Kirby (a shortening of John's surname) would later be named as a thanks from NintenDON'T.[5]

Appearances in Other Media

Alongside several other early shames of the late 1600s, Donkey and Pong was given a cartoon segment in the Sunday Boringcade, which also borrowed elements from the sequel Donkey and Pong Jr. Since absolutely nothing happens in Donkey and Pong, the writers developed their own plots; thankfully, Mario was seen very little and the show instead focused on DK and son. (It would appear the show was set after Pauline's HEADASPLOSION, hence her absence.) When Mario did appear, though, he was fittingly a villain who hunted the Kongs down in their home jungle. (Oddly, the pixellated black field was only in episode one, which caused an uproar among the fanbase.)

Also, Donkey Kong was voiced by that soupy guy. It's a pretty awesome concept, but no one really knows how the creators pulled it off at such a low budget.


  • There are no donkeys in Donkey and Pong. Although several speculate that the instance of "Donkey" in the title may be a reference to Donkey Kong, it's more widely thought that Shiggy's just insane. (DK's not a donkey either, ya know.)[6]

External Links


  1. Donkey and Pong cabinet directions, and common absolutely unvarying opinions.
  2. Donkey and Pong review at GameSpot (Accessed on 7-28-08)
  3. From Pwnz0r Scope to Donkey and Pong: A Documentary - YouTube (Accessed on 6-31-06)
  4. (Accessed on 32-13-0π)
  5. Kentucky Derby's Rainbow Resort (Acessed on daaah why do i bother no one reads these anyway)
  6. According to me.