George and the Bean Stalk is the first episode of George W. Bush's Idiot Adventures.

Mariozilla and Bush


Scene 1

Fade in to Baby George W. Bush licking a lollipop in the middle of the road. Cars swerve around him as one of the drivers, Mario, stops next to him.

MARIO: Hey! What do you think you're-a doing? What do you have to say for yourself?

BABY BUSH: This tastes like lemmings.

Mario frowns angrily, snatches the lollipop away, and turns into a giant (better known as Mariozilla). Then, an invisible force catapults him into the sky.

BABY BUSH: Waaaaa! My lolly is gone!

Suddenly, Popple appears and drags Baby Bush onto the sidewalk.

POPPLE: Hey, little guy! Did you like my octopus trick? I used my magic powers to make that happen.

BABY BUSH: Waaaaaa! I want my lolly!

POPPLE: Oh, stop your whining. Here, have a magic bean.

Popple flicks a magic bean into Baby Bush's open mouth.

POPPLE: And here's something to wash it down.

Popple hands Baby Bush a can of fertilizer and runs away, giggling. Unwittingly, Baby Bush swallows the fertilizer and the bean.

BABY BUSH: That was weird. Oh, well. Whatever.

Baby Bush strolls onto the next block and gasps. There, Dora the Explorer is hitting Boots, her pet monkey, in the face repeatedly. Fade to black.

Scene 2

Fade in to Baby Bush watching Dora the Explorer beating the tar out of Boots.

DORA: How dare you? You know the rules: no swiping!

BOOTS: But you have to swipe your credit card to pay for your things!

DORA: No swiping!

Meanwhile, as Baby Bush stands with his mouth agape, a beanstalk tears its way through his belly.

BABY BUSH: Ahhhhhhhhhh!!

Then, the beanstalk smashes Dora in the face, knocking her unconscious.

BABY BUSH: Yaaaaaaaay!

Then, the beanstalk smacks Boots in the face as well.

BABY BUSH: Ahhhhhhhhhh!!

Then, the beanstalk shrinks down to a tiny size, becoming nothing more than a leaf on Baby Bush's belly button.

BABY BUSH: Yaaaaaaaay!

Then, the beanstalk grows again and smacks Bush in the face. He does not say anything because he is unconscious.

Roll credits.


  • Never drink fertilizer after swallowing a seed.
  • Do not trust Popple.
  • Never eat lollipops in the middle of the road.


  • This was the first episode of George W. Bush's Idiot Adventures
  • Mariozilla is first seen here.
  • Boots' brother, Sandals, later sued the company for killing his brother, however, he was injected anesthesia and made him think he was Paris Hilton in a Pickle disguise.
  • Luigi is here but is flying with Some Guy Named joe.

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