Half-Mario was a shame for the GBA. It was a shame. It was also a shame. Shameful.


Mario arrives late for work at 8:47 am in the Black Mesa Research Facility, using its tram system. He acquires his Hazardous Environment suit before proceeding to the test chamber of the Anomalous Materials Lab, to assist in an experiment. He is tasked with pushing a non-standard specimen into the scanning beam of the Anti-Mass Spectrometer for analysis. However, this creates a sudden catastrophe called a "resonance


cascade", opening a portal between the Mushroom Kingdom and a dimension called Ween. Mario is sporadically teleported there and catches glimpses of various alien lifeforms, including a circle of Weegeegaunts, shortly before blacking out.

Mario awakens in the ruined test chamber and surveys the destroyed lab, strewn with the bodies of scientists and security personnel. Finding survivors, Mario learns that communication to the outside is completely cut and is encouraged to head to the surface for help because of his suit. His journey consists of sidestepping Black Mesa's structural damage and defending himself against hostile Xen creatures, such as the parasitic


headcrab which attaches itself to a human host before enslaving it, suddenly teleporting into the area. Other survivors claim a rescue team has been dispatched, only to discover that the Hazardous Environment Combat Unit sent in is killing both the organisms and the employees there as part of a government cover-up.

Mario fights the Marines before reaching the surface of Black Mesa, where he learns that scientists from the Lambda Complex may have the means to resolve the problems created by the cascade. Mario travels to the other end of the facility to assist them. However, Mario encounters several hurdles throughout the facility, such as reactivating a rocket engine test facility to destroy a giant creature of three tentacles, using an aged railway system in order to get to and launch a crucial satellite rocket, and fighting a group of Black Ops soldiers, before he is captured by Marines and dumped in a garbage compactor. Mario escapes and makes his way to an older part of the facility where he discovers an extensive collection of specimens collected from Xen, long before the resonance cascade.

Reaching the surface once more, Mario finds a warzone. Despite calling


for reinforcements, the Marines are being overwhelmed by the aliens. Scaling cliffs and navigating destroyed buildings, Mario reaches safety underground. The Marines begin to pull out of Black Mesa and airstrikes begin. Meanwhile, Mario goes through underground water channels as aliens pick off the remaining Marines. He arrives at the Lambda Complex, where scientists developed the teleportation technology that allowed travel to Xen in the first place. After meeting the remaining personnel, Mario is told the satellite he launched failed to reverse the effects of the resonance cascade because an immensely powerful being on the other side of the rift is keeping it open. Mario must, therefore, kill this being to stop the Xenian invasion and the scientists activate the teleporter to send Mario to Xen.

Entering the borderworld Xen, Mario encounters organisms that had been brought into Black Mesa, as well as the remains of HEV-wearing researchers that came before him. He fights his way through Gonarch, the huge egg-laying headcrab, an alien camp and arrives at a massive alien factory, which is creating the Alien Grunt soldiers. After fighting his way through levitating creatures, he finds a giant portal and enters it. In a vast cave, Mario confronts the Weegee, the entity maintaining the rift, and destroys it. The Weegee dies in an explosion, knocking Mario unconscious.

Mario awakens, stripped of his gear, to the G-Man, who has been watching over Mario throughout. The G-Man praises Mario's actions in Xen. He explains that his "employers", believing that Mario has potential, have authorized him to offer Mario a job. Should he refuse this offer, he will be given a battle that he has no chance of winning. When Mario accepts, he is placed into stasis and congratulated by the G-Man.

You attack things by Sparta kicking, shooting, using Malleo as a weapon, and stuff.


  1. Crowbar: A simple melee weapon with many advantages, that has become an iconic symbol of Mario Freeman and the Half-Mario series has a whole. Useful for breaking objects and bludgeoning approaching enemies such as Headcrabs.
  2. Glock 17: The most basic ranged weapon. Accurate and with average stopping power, this 9mm pistol is unique in that it can be fired underwater. Standard issue with all Black Mesa Security Guards, ammunition is always plentiful.
  3. .357 Magnum (Colt Python revolver): Powerful and accurate with a slow rate of fire. Ammunition is also somewhat scarce, however, it will often kill any enemy with one shot.
  4. MP5: Fully automatic with poor stopping power and accuracy, but high magazine capacity and rate of fire. Equipped with a grenade launcher. Standard issue with all HECU troops. It shares ammunition with the Glock 17.
  5. BFG9000: The "Big Fucking Gun." Somewhat counter-intuitive to operate at first, but kills almost any monster in one shot.
  6. SPAS-12: Powerful at close range, but has a slow rate of fire and long reload time. Also comes with the ability to fire two shells at once, thus killing enemies more quickly. Issued to certain HECU soldiers.
  7. Insane BFG9000: The Most Powerful Gun Ever...
  8. Bowser's stinky breath
  9. Dexter hurting the koopas' feelings by calling them stoopid
  10. RPG: Extremely powerful, but must be reloaded after each shot. Alternate fire activates/deactivates a laser sight; with the laser sight active, the rockets will track the laser to its target, making it useful for taking down helicopters and other flying vehicles or long-range enemies. Similar to the Glock 17 and Crossbow, it can be fired underwater but the rocket becomes much slower.
  11. Crossbow: The only sniper weapon in Half-Mario. Its projectile is highly accurate but slow moving, making it difficult to use against distant or fast moving targets. Similar to the Glock 17, it can be fired underwater.
  12. Gluon Gun: This experimental weapon, named by its creator, fires out a beam of concentrated energy that disrupts its target's molecules. It looks and operates similarly to the proton pack used by the characters in the movie Mario Head Busters
  13. (Rare) Gravity Gun: Designed for handling hazardous materials, this weapon allows the user to pick up most objects, and optionally launch them into enemies.
  14. Gauss Gun: An experimental, highly unstable weapon. One of the most important abilities is that it can shoot through walls, making it so that you can't take cover against it. The gauss's primary fire shoots out tiny spurts that are only effective in close to medium range due to its erratic spread. You can charge up the gauss by holding down alternate fire; the longer you charge it up, the stronger it gets. The longer you charge it up is directly proportional to the thickness of the wall you can shoot through. Lookout campers, retribution has come.
  15. The Hive-Hand: The hivehand has eight hornets to begin with, and automatically regenerates them slowly after you shoot them out. It's a great weapon for medium to long range, but once an enemy gets close enough, the hivehand is rendered almost useless due to its slow fire rate (after the initial burst).
  16. Handgrenade: Hand-grenades are pretty standard in Half-Life. There is a three-second delay, so don't hold it too long or it'll blow your boxers off. It doesn't have a built-in ticker, so you can be all sneaky with them and stuff.
  17. Trip Mines: Once set they emit a laser beam 90 degrees outwards. Once that beam is broken by anything, the mine explodes. They can be placed anywhere, including floors and ceilings.
  18. Snark: Toss a few at these at an enemy and watch them tear flesh from bone. Make sure they have targets to attack though, because if none are found, they'll turn right back around and head for you. The Snarks explode after 10-15 seconds.


1. Bleed Out: Your health is a ticking away.

You start with temporary health which cannot be permanently healed. To Unlock it, beat the game once.

2. Last Gnome on Earth: Protect the gnome at all costs.

You will spawn with Gnome Chompski close by, which you must transport by carrying it all the way to the finale. The chapter will not end without the gnome being in Mario's Hands. To Unlock it, beat the game twice.

3. Gib Fest: Disrupt Creatures to shreds with the Gluon Gun.

Mario will start with the Gluon Gun and a .357 Magnum to fend off Xen creatures. No other weapons will spawn during the game. The Gluon Gun will have unlimited ammunition. To Unlock it, beat the game On Very Hard.

Box art


What do you mean it's not epic?!