Kirby
From the Un-Mario Wiki, the Mario no-ledge-base.
Kirby, also known as <(o'.'o<), (>o'.'o)>, or <(o'.'o)>, is a flying pink puffball that can devour almost anything and have whatever he swallows' power, that used to live with his mother. However, one day his dad came to the room where Kirby and his mom were watching TV, and told Kirby to Go play outside, because Kirby watched way too much TV. 10 minutes later, he heard his mother gasp and the sound of stabbing. Kirby thought his dad was killing mommy, even though it was OBVIOUSLY the TV so he ran outside of the house, and started living in the street. Since he didn't have any money or food, he became the world's cutest serialkiller; savagely devouring anything that moved AND didn't moved; turning into them.
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Biography
After living 4 years hypnotizing his victims and eating them, Kirby met this fat, dumb, blue penguin who said he was so fat, not even Kirby would be able to swallow him. Kirby tried, but only could swallow his hammer, so he got hammer powers, and started hammering people that called him Voracious Strawberry Flavored Marshmallow Puffball of Doom. After that, Dedede got hungry, so he went to the sky, took the Release all evil for a freaking something (aka the Star Rod), and wished for a Kirby.
Kirby inmediately appeared there, then Dedede swallowed him, and since Kirby had no other choice, he had to become part of Dedede to survive his deadly stomach acids; he also started critizicing the writers for making people small when they enter other people's bodies. Kirby then swallowed a bit part of Dedede's Neck, and with his own head, he covered the bleeding and became his second head, becoming a horrible abomination with Kirby in command.
Dedekirby then asked for a red "taxi" to go George W. Bush's house and find some death ray beam to separate them, however, the Driver was a woman, and crashed before Kirby could say Poyo, poyo! which means So that's why daddy never let mommy drive OR Does Paris Hilton like Japanese Meatballs?, Kirby had found a Paris Hilton poster in a kids' museum, and swallowed it, so everyone agrees that he most likely said this.
Fortunately for them, they crashed into the Black House, where George W. Bush was testing his beam on politicians. Dedekirby swallowed one of them, and got a nice suit plus a hat; when they stepped in, they were separated. But right at that instant, some weird Spanish Accent guy called Meta Knight came in and chopped George W. Bush's arm, then moved around randomly like a Ninja, saying Holy crap you freed the bad guys you idiots!!.
After that, Kirby did a lot of stuff. This is a Summary of not all of what he did.
Kirby swallowed the people's nightmares and became the devil's right hand man, but Shigeru Miyamoto came and pierced a cable into Kirby's mouth, and pressed UpPad, freeing him from the evil powers.
Later, he was watching the stars, when some evil tiny witch came and started poking with a crystal, so he called his friends, but they were all possessed and turning their heads 360ยบ. So Kirby beat them up, and discovered that the possesser was actually a peek-a-boo, so he went to collect random crystals in different planets, and defeated many bosses, plus the final boss which was a white Peek-a-boo with alot of eyes. So he got jealous of Kirby and started copying his powers. After Kirby pwn3d him easily, the crystals went berserk and started mutilating the people of the tiny witch's planet, trying to find who was a bad guy. Then this holy weirdo came and started shooting lasers at kirby, Kirby shot lasers too with the Mutilating Crystal and pwn3d him too, then everything was back to normal, and Kirby got laid the celebration night.
Later Kirby was watching a fight between Meta Knight and his millionare half-brother, the latter being the winner, so he sealed Meta Knight into a mirror and broke it, later having complaints from the neighbor. Then Shadow Kirby came and walked around and went into a world. Kirby was bored, and beated alot of bosses and freed Meta Knight, then he pwn3d Dark Meta Knight, then he swallowed People's Nightmares again, and became Bob Saget's right hand man again. Shiggy then came with 2 controllers and started fighting with Bob saget inside Kirby's mind with the cables in his mouth, since he brought a TV, Bob being Nightmare and Shiggy being Kirby. Shiggy beat Bob in 1 hit and Kirby turned back to normal.
Slave Life
When Kirby lost to The Harvester , he of course became a slave. He was one of the ones to be impeeched into SkyNet's army. Then, during the war, Kirby escaped by eating the not very popular Raisin Berry DINNER.
Other Forms
Mario Tag Stats
- Strength: 2.8/5
- Speed: 4/5
- Jump: 4.8/5
- Special ability: 4.3/5
