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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called "experts" at MarioWiki have a real article on Mario.
Mario
Mario
Real Name: Mario Fratelli
Birth: 1981
Age: 37
Health: Perfectly healthy, shrinks when injured
Family and relatives: Luigi, Dr. Mario, Mario's Head
Impostor(s) Wario, Cario, Kilogramio, Smallio, Lario, Bario, Hitario, Dry Mario, Mummio, Malleo, Tario, Captain Lou Albano, Xario Dic cartoon Mario, New Mario, New New Mario, and so on.... (you see he has lots!)
Death: Alot
“Let's A Go!


Mario
“It's-A Me, Mario!


Mario
Mariofirstapperance

Mario cookies were a huge success.

Lol

Mario's Normal Size, Standard Mario

Mario is one of the least popular and most obscure videogame characters ever (though, as the downfall shrunk, Mario soon became a somewhat successful character). He is currently known by 4 people, out of which 0.9 play his games.

Description

Mario is the fat, greasy, wop mascot for Nintendo, and has starred in roughly 90%of their games due to Shigeru Miyamoto's insatiable shroom fetish. Mario is known throughout the world for his habit of breaking blocks, collecting coins, throwing fire balls, getting high off shrooms, getting pwned by turtles and Goombas.

Summary

Super Mario Brothers are a pair of plumbers from a somewhat popular video game series known for its platforming, characters, and making 80's nostalgics, well, nostalgic. Since their conception in the 1980's, they are popular worldwide for reasons that are still being looked into.

A legend is born... edit

The original heroes of Italy were born in a cave between 1954 and 1963. They were forced to eat nuts and berries until they were 13 years old. They planned to move into the city. However, growing up in the blistering heat of the wild caused them to stumble down a pipe into Super Mario World. After falling 20 miles down the pipe they landed on top of Teenage Bowser. Bowser immediately got angry and ripped his pants. He has still not forgiven them.

Biography

Early Life

He originally appeared as a brand of cookies during the 1600s. Everyone enjoyed the cookies immensely, so the Super Mario Cookies were mass-marketed, and later Luigi cookies were made. After Mario and Luigi got very popular in the 1600s, Mario began appearing in forms of entertainment. Mario was frequently inserted into Renaissance works of literature and art, such as William Shakespeare's Mario & Juliet and the famous painting Mario Lisa.
Mario

The Real Mario as shown

Hiring By Nintendo

In the late 1900s, classical works became much less popular. While Mario was walking one day down the street, he met Shigeru Miyamoto who gave him a job at Nintendo so he could create videogames. He was soon a classic hit. However, problems started. The rival videogame characters Sonic and Pacman showed up on the scene and became famous, but nowhere near as famous as Mario.

The Videogame War And Its Aftermath

Then came the Videogame War where Mario Fans, Pacman Fans and Sonic Fans fought everywhere.

Marioshots

A wanted poster created after Mario escaped from prison.

Fatmario

Mario at the peak of his success.

Kids fought in school arguing who was better: Mario, Pacman or Sonic. Many got kicked out of schools for fighting. Not only did kids fight, but adults too. Therefore, many of them got fired. The Videogame War lasted for 30 years, until the creator of Sonic was thought to have died, and everyone forgot about Sonic, while Pacman's creator forgot about Pacman and instead got a girlfriend. Sonic games were then brought back when Sonic's creator was revealed to be alive.

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MOSKAU! MOSKAU!

While the Videogame War was on, videogame makers were afraid of making Mario games so instead, they created Luigi games. To this day, Mario videogames are now becoming less popular and they're instead making Mario foods, cookies, lollipops, and sodas. The production of these products stopped while Mario and Luigi were arrested.

In The Foreign Legion

After Mario and Luigi escaped from prison, they were abducted by one of Napoleon's flying saucers. They were then forced to serve in the Foreign Legion. While fighting in the Yoshi's Island Scandal, Mario was killed. However, he was revived by Napoleon. Mario then when back to working at Nintendo.

Meanwhile...

Meanwhile, New Mario became Mario's replacement. He was not a cookie, which was a plus. He loved to breakdance though, and was fired. Later, he was hired again as an old man after Cario (his replacement, a red buggy) was totalled, until he quit. He was replaced by Rapper Mario, until Rapper Mario died while fighting in the Foreign Legion. Smallio would take his place, until he became angry that people were stomping on him. As a result, he was fired. Killogramio would be his next replacement before his life ended when he stood on a thin ledge above lava and broke through it due to weighing 1000 Kilograms. Lario would proceed to take his place afterward, but retired after being received so well. Hitario was Lario's replacement, but was fired when Nintendo discovered that he looked nothing like Mario, but more like some other guy. After Hitario was fired, he was replaced by Dry Mario, a dry bones-like version of Mario. Dry Mario starred in a few shames, but then caused the death of several Nintendon't staff. As revenge, Dry Mario was executed. He was replaced by Mummio, a mummy version of Mario. Eventually, Mummio got his bandages caught. Since he had nothing underneath the bandages, Mummio fell apart and was technically dead. Mummio was then replaced by Wario however once Nintendo found out he was a member of the X-Men he was fired.
Fat Mario

Mario's beloved dream.

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Mario really knows how to dance!

Mario's Youtube Account

Trying to forget about Nintendo, Mario created his own YouTube account. Mario made bloopers of his own games, the messed up stunts that happened in his life, YouTube Poops (as annoying as Waluigi, but somewhat funny), and best of all,
Mario has a Sparta Remix

Mario has a Sparta Remix

One of Mario's best sparta remixes

fads. Mario loves fads more than anything else. Your shocked right? But, its true. From Red Zones, to Leek Spins, to Squidwards, Mario loves those videos that are done over and over again. His favorite fad of all was the Sparta Remix. Although some of Mario's Sparta Remixes insulted Tyrannosaurus Alan & George Volcano. When Nintendo heard that they had been made fun of, they were hacked and the hacker read every true thing about Nintendo, (and believe me, there's lots of secerts about Nintendo.) they tried to ban Mario's account (MushroomMarioMan). But after hearing that the account was the original Mario's, they were all in a coma for at least 2 months. Miyamoto was blamed for going on YouTube in the first place and he was sent to jail for 5 years to be replaced with Michael Jackson. Mario laughed at Nintendo about this.

His Involvment In The Katsu War

Mario was a human shield in the Katsu War, daving Bario, Deidara and the Soviet Luigis from Weegee and his German Weegees. He used a Force-A-Nature, one of his favourite weapons. He also created a replica of the Revival Machine to revive Bario.

Two Years Later...

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When Mario needs to use the bathroom

Two years after the Katsu War, Mario was seen fighting Bowser, who he had defeated easily, indicating his new strength. Reflux the Knaaren informed George W. Bush about his partner's defeat, who called Mario "The bestest threat for the f00ture". Mario then went to Dr. Rabbit's palace and killed him, taking the base for himself. Mario has not been seen, until he recently left revealing he just needed to make a really big poop.

Meeting Chef Pepper Jack and Wolfgang

Mario randomly decided to rob some banks and eat all the money. Tony Abbott put a bounty on his head and bounty hunters/ doom raiders/ the idiotic chili guy and his equally idiotic werewolf friend/ skylanders villains Chef Pepper Jack and Wolfgang were set to collect. While Mario was busy robbing some random bank Chef Pepper Jack and Wolfgang came and attacked him. However, Mario easily defeated them and Chef Pepper Jack as a tasty snack, hinting that he likes chili. But, unbeknownst to Mario, Chef Pepper Jack and Wolfgang were only 2 of 11 doom raiders and the other Doom Raiders planned their revenge...
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Goomba Enemies

Enemies

Koopas:These sneaky turtles are spread all over the place in every Mario game. They come from a poor hood where nobody has heard of birth control. So there are thousands of them, and they are all thugs because they never got proper attention from their parents, who were busy snorting coke. Some walk the ground, while others have pimped out their shells to have wings. Others have had their feet modified to allow them to jump abnormally high, like Kenyans. But all of them share one thing - they hate Italians. And Mario is just about as Italian as they come, so they're always trying to taunt him with lewd gestures and bad language. Mario can take them out easily enough by jumping on them a couple times. Sometimes, for added humiliation, Mario will rip the shell off the dead body and use it to beat the crud out of others. This is a trick that Mario picked up from the hood, from his ring leader Luigi.
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Koopa Enemies

Spiny:

These little cruds are thrown from the sky. They run around on the ground, trying to steal all your money to buy drugs. Their shells are usually fitted with metal spikes, and trying to jump on them like other enemies usually gets Mario a nasty bruise, or even killed. However, Mario can get the BFG upgrade and kill these enimies like it's his job. Or he can rip the shell off of one of the Aholes and beat them to death with it.

Pirahna:
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Other Enemies

These nasty little immigrants live in the sewers. They don't really bother anybody, but since Mario is on probation for selling drugs, it is his job to clean out the sewers from all the scum. The Pipe guys don't like this, and make every effort to bite Mario in the butt whenever he gets close to the pipes. Some of these ememies have bought automatic weapons from Crystal Meth addicts, and fire them at Mario when he is close to the sewer. Since these pipe alien guys have acid for blood, Mario cannot jump on them for risk of ruining his new kicks, so he must shoot them also with the BFG. Goomba:
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Chain Chomp and other enimies

They're really spaced out and just walk around all the time and get on everybody's nerves. They never look where they are going, and are always being run over by cars or even falling into holes in the ground. Being the careless morons that they are. Since they are too lazy to ever wear pants, they will transmit their nasty brocolli-head disease to you upon contact, and you will die.

Red Platforms:

These are perhaps the most cleverly disguised enemy. Mario doesn't

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Swooper and other enemies

even know that they are out to kill him...until it's too late. They are magical creatures capable of flying and being stepped on. They will try to seduce Mario into stepping on them by flashing their tits at him and making promises of giving the reach-aroundwhen it's all over. Just when Mario is lured into the trap, they pull away and leave only an empty pit of death for Mario to fall into. Mario cannot kill these bastards because they are reinforced with red, and are the personal property of Mario's business partner (Bowser the Pimp).

Lakitu:

Watch out! These fly around in the sky. They also enables them to ride on clouds. It is possible sometimes for Mario to climb up on top of cars and overhangs and jump on these bastards, but its very difficult and usually not worth the risk. Instead, Mario will usually just run like a motherfucker and dodge the shit that these Assholes throw down at him until he can reach safety.
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Bob-omb and other enimies

Bowser:

This big ugly son of a boi used to be a trusted business partner of Mario. But one day Bowser realized that Mario had a pretty hot girlfriend named Peach, and he kidnapped her to be his personal slave. This made Mario really tight, and so he departed on a mission to kill Bowser and his lousy cheating girlfriend. He killed Bowser with a crowbar, and then found Peach in the next room. She thought she was being rescued, but then Mario jumped on her head and threw her into the lava

Alternative History

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Mario in other history

Oliver Stone was rumored to be making a movie based upon what he believed to be the true history of the Mario Brothers, or as he called them, the "most shameless exhibitionists since Michael and Ron Jeremy." Stone then noted that Ron and Mario were surprisingly similar, and he noted the coincidence as "eerie". His history, however, is the following. A bunch of green dinosaurs named Yoshi (although, "apparently", some Yoshis were other colors) were all minding their own business when a diaper clad Mario fell from the sky, apparently victim of the abuse by the nefarious Kamek, a Magikoopa. The Yoshis all began sticking their tongues out and making cute whistling noises, wondering what the fuck to do. Suddenly, Mario climbed onto a Yoshi's back, believing the saddle that just happens to grow on Yoshis to be some sort of nip. Realizing the young Mario's yearning for tit,
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Mario with no mustache

Yoshi bounded off with his friends to find this supposed magical thing that was beyond imagination. They soon learned from a local piranha plant (smacking his lips), that he had just had some delicious tit over at Bowser's place, as he was also a young lad in need of it. They reached the palace, and found Bowser with Princess Peach, a young voluptuous woman who Stone says is the father of Scarlett Johanssen. Yoshi helped Mario steal Princess Peach for himself, Bowser was pissed, and Mario spent the whole afternoon nourishing himself.
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Mario as a turtle

This history would repeatedly repeat itself, as Bowser would steal back the princess, usually by force, and attempt to ravish her in any way he pleased. Bowser would usually be in some elaborate realm of castles or horizontal worlds (he had hundreds of slave koopas), and Mario, sometimes with the aid of Yoshi and secret Princess-Peach-lover Luigi (his brother), among others like the stoner Toad. Many times stoner Toad reached the princess before Mario, somehow, and would promptly annoy Mario by repeating "Thank you Mario, but our princess is in Another Castle®" between hookah puffs. To this day no one ever knew where princess was... wait, does anyone really care anymore? After this Stone becomes rather vague, and this is where critics really hammer him. Apparently at one point Mario and Bowser teamed up to save Princess Peach from some dude named Smithy. Mario and Bowser repeatedly deny this, and every time it is mentioned Mario starts super punching or hammering people, and Bowser spews fiery breath. Oliver Stone heartily recounts losing his hair to one of these spews.
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Coding Mario for a game

Original Games

Donkey Kong

Totally not related to King Kong in anyway, this game has Mario JUMPMAN saving the helpless Pauline from the clutches of a ronery ape. Although hes a very nice guy sometimes.

Super Mario Bros.

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Mario in Super Mario Bros

Mario and his brother Luigi save the Princess from a giant turtle. To aid them on their quest, they have a variety of power-ups, such as Fire Flowers (which cause flames to erupt from Mario's fingertips), Mushrooms (which make everything look smaller), and Super Stars(which cause enemies to have seizures on contact). I wish I was joking, but this is the staple of the average Mario game.

Super Mario Bros 2

Mario, Luigi, that annoying mushroom-midget thing, and that Peach who

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Mario in Dian Shi Ma Li

does nothing but scream and fly around using her ability to queef at high speeds, team up to battle a frog. They kill it with vegetables, but not really, because IT WAS ALL A DREAM LOL!

It's a version of another game called Doki Doki Panic. The original sequel was thought to be too hard for American gamers like yourself.

Dian Shi Ma Li

pirate game compared to the main games of the series, Dian Shi Ma Li is a spinoff featuring a Mario clone named Fortran - who happens to be

the illegitimate father of Weegee and Malleo. The purpose of this game is to use imaginary moneys and to PUSH START TO RICH. Unlike the other Mario games, there is no end to this one. Ever.

It's a shame that this particularly awesome Mario game was overshadowed by another, one.

Super Mario Bros. 3

Considered by the fandom to be the BEST GAME EVAR, Mario and Luigi have to save seven kings who, along with being kidnapped, had their seven MAGIK WANDS stolen and were turned into animals by each of the seven coons. However, in World Seven, Mario finds out that those seven kidnappings were all just a distraction so Bowser could nab Princess Toadshit. Seven seven seven.
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Mario in Super mario bros 3

Bowser isn't the brightest bulb in the box, but he at least deserves a Gold Star for effort... that is until you see what plans Bowser comes up with in the future. Then it's torn off like an old Band-Aid.

Super Mario World

The same game as 3, but for the Super Nintendo. The only difference is that this time you get to ride a dinosaur named Yoshi AND OMG YOU GET A CAPE INSTEAD OF A TAIL!1

Mario Kart

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Mario in Mario Kart

Luigi finds out that his brother is actually Ron Jeremy.

Mario and his friends skid around various tracks in cardboard go-karts and throw shit at each other for trophies. The original was supposed to have two female characters and one cup. There have been sequels, but it's the same general concept of Mario and his friends throwing things at each other.

Super Mario RPG

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Mario in Super Mario 64

By far, the most overrated Mario game to date. The starting plot is the same as the original Super Mario Bros. game

So, Mario has to find some PVC glue bottles that look like bits of stars to reassemble some retarded magical dildo or some shit like that and look for the Princess. It's like Final Fantasy (it was made by the same company, go figure), but HE KNOWS ABOUT TIMED HITS which can be used for MASSIVE DAMAGE. This game has spawned an ungodly

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Mario in Super Mario RPG

amount of fanboys who practically live on praying to their God for giving them this game. Let's not forget that this game is incredibly boring since Mario can only jump in the overworld and that the puzzelda were practically made forby three year-olds or people with down syndrome. Also the source of Geno, who is a living puppet, and Mallow, but nobody cares about him.

Mario is Missing

Bowser is up to no good again, so Mario must put a stop to his dirty deeds!!!!111Oneoneone.

What poorly-made plan has Bowser cooked up this time to steal the Princess? None. Thank God.
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Mario in Mario is Missing

Instead, Bowser has set up base in the Antarctic and he plans to flood the Earth by melting it with hairdryers (yes, you read that correctly. Unless you read it as Hard Drivers). When Mario tries to stop Bowser's hilarious nefarious scheme. Luigi then has to travel around the world and answer trivia questions to save his brother. It's exactly as entertaining as it sounds.

Melting Antarctica with hairdryers? Bowser must be cheap

The PC version of the game gave birth to the meme known as Weegee.

Super Mario 69

You get a sexy letter from princess peach and she says something about cake. At this point you should know that the cake is a lie because women can't write letters. Bowser takes over the Princess's castle (which is nothing but an art gallery) and hides Power Starsin various painting worlds instead of actually doing anything with them. In this AMAZING 64-BIT ADVENTURE, you run around collecting the Power Stars that, coincidentally, do nothing but let you progress, and fight Bowser at least 69 times (each battle the same thing which becomes way too easy). The excellent control scheme handles like your mom.
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A Teaser for Mario

Paper Mario

Same as SMRPG but every character is a piece of paper. Bowser steals a Star Rod, gets sued by Kirby for copyright infringement, wins, and decides to use it for himself. Peach invites Mario and Luigi to a party at

the castle, during which the whole castle rises up in the sky and Bowser pwns the crap out of Mario with his Star Rod. OMG! So now Mario has to free some star spirits to re-own Bowser and his Star Rod, with the help of all his partners. He has several of these partners to help him out on his contrived quest, but they are hardly notable. The series has also spawned two equally formulaic sequels of collecting seven shiny pieces of crap to kill somebody. Hoorays!
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A teaser for Mario in super smash bros

Super Smash Bros

A Nintendo fanboy's wet dream come to life. The game is basically a

giant circlejerk of various Nintendo characters beating the crud out of each other. So, essentially, it's awesome. It's also one of the many games subject to drama.

Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door

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Mario in Paper Mario 2

The world is once again turned into paper, and now it's up to Mario to go collect OMGJESUS EVEN MORE!!!!!!! Stars. That's right, and seven of them! Who would've thought? But there's a twist: You can die in the overworld! OMG!!! Nintendo is really pushing the limits! There's also a guy with a fishbowl for a head who wants them so he can stick em up his butt or some other form like that. Of course, Mario also has his girls that

join him, because apparently Mario's too fail to kick butt without help. Mario's gals, in this game, are all Aboriginal...let's see...

  • Goombella, useless, excessive, and unwanted girl.
  • Koops, a cat.
  • Flurrie, a attractive women, are they? No, it's always the big fat cows). Unfortunately for Mario, she wants inside his pants.
  • A Yoshi, whom you get to name after you get him. Acts like a total douche the entire game.
  • Vivian, a prostitute-like shadow-freaky lady who wants inside Mario's pants (but in Japan she's a boy).
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    Mario in Super Mario Sunshine

    Captain Bobbery, an old man who blows himself up, and is emo for his dead wife. He desperately wants to die. PROTIP: This is the only character you will use in this game.
  • Ms. Mowz, a random convict who wants inside Mario's pants.
Yes, every female (and possibly male) wants inside Mario's pants, desperately (cause Italians are smexy :3). This fact is made painfully obvious throughout the game.
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Mario in New Super Mario Bros Wii

Super Mario Sunshine

Set shortly after Mario's successful Jihad in Super Mario World where he destroys several buildings, Mario boards a plane headed to a distant tropical island where he attempts to hijack and crash it into a high-rise skyscraper. With Mario's final terrorist plot foiled, he is captured and labeled an enemy combatant and sent to Guantanamo Bay. The rest of the game is spent with Mario being interrogated by eating meat sandwiches and getting hamered by the Man. During his testimony, when

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Mario in Super Mario Galaxy

asked why he intended to kill so many innocent civilians, he stated that he "did it for teh lulz!"

After being tortured half to death by freaks, Mario is subjected to at least 100hours of community service in the form of cleaning up the town that the residents crud all over. Mario gets a water cannon and uses it to spray on everything dirty.

Oh, yeah, and Bowser's in a bathtub this entire time. And apparently he has a kid too.
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Mario in Super Mario Galaxy 2

Super Mario Galaxy

Waggle and jump around on tiny space-rocks, following a linear path to the star, jumping around on cartoony levels to appeal to the younger crowds.

...that's it. Going from point A to point B 9,003 times, occasionally stopping to collect crud or take part in epic boss fights.

After collecting all 120 stars, what do you get? YOU GET TO DO IT ALL AGAIN! But as Weegee, who jumps higher but seems to have had his

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Mario in Super Mario Odyssey

shoes dunked in anal lube, which makes him slippery as god. What do you get after beating the game again? You get to go back to the starting level of the game and collect purple coins! Heck yes! If you look closely at the title look at the letters that have stars. they spell out "U R MR GAY" lol
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A Typical ? Block

Easily the best Mario game ever made. Because of this and the fact that ever since Neil Armstrong landed on the Moon, every American got a space fetish, there's a sequel that appeals to at least 100 percent of nostalgia and rips off every other 3D Mario game SINCE NOSTALGIA'S COOL, RIGHT?. Yoshi's in this one and eats radioactive berries that give it superpowers. And its cover says "YA I M R U?"

Mario & Sonic at the Special Olympics

Mario and his friends find some furries and a fat scientist, and then they compete in the  Special Olympics. Nobody gives a crap about this game now, due to Sonic in Brawl- HOLY Crap! THOSE Idiots ARE MAKING ANOTHER ONE!

Then they actually went on to create even moar of this crap, including Mario & Sonic at the London 2012 Olympic Games and Mario & Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games. There's also Mario & Sonic at the Sochi 2014 Olympic Winter Games, if you just needed to play as Mario or Sonic snowboarding.
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Mario in Super Paper Mario

Super Paper Mario

Same old story as the first two, except in this game, Mario gets partners that aren't necessarily dumb, but they aren't that either. This time around, he gets to team up with Tippi, Princess Peach, Luigi, and Bowser. Together, they fight Count Bleck, Nastasia, O'Chunks, Mimi, Dimentio, and Mr. L. It's different from the other two Paper Mario games in that there's less turnbased combat and more of the awesome platforming.
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Mario in NSMB

Instead of Mario's, most of the female characters go for Count Bleck's pants since he's the supreme god of all emos. Bleck also doesn't succeed in destroying the universe and reveals the power of friendship.

New Super Mario Bros

It's like every other 2D Mario game, but new! There's also this little version of Bowser that you fight OVER 9,000 times who sounds like you.

As quoted from Luigi, "Go, Weegee!"

New Super Mario Bros Wii

So it's Mario's birthday and a HUEG cake comes in from nowhere, everyone is pleased at the arrival of the cake but then.....Bowser's kids come out of nowhere and put peach in the cake and take off with it! It all boils down to a lemonparty of all the old 2D games, but in 3D!

New Super Mario Bros 2

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Mario in NSMB 2

Same exact thing as the first, but with lots moar coins. After Mario gets 1,000,000 coins in total, being the self-centered ahole he is, spends it on a GIANT GOLDEN STATUE OF HIMSELF that doesn't do crud.

Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga

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Mario in Mario and Luigi 2

This time, instead of the Mushroom Kingdom being in peril, the Beanishpeople of the BeanBean Kingdom ask Mario and Luigi to stop Cackletta, Fawful, and the Koopalings from terrorizing the BeanBean Kingdom. In this game, the battle system is exactly the same as Paper Mario, except you can do combos and Bros Attacks. Some say Americans butchered the localized version by screwing up the monsters' stats. The Koopa Kids' HP are greatly reduced, making each of them able to be killed in 1 hit, while the final boss's HP is doubled to drag out a boring fight even further.

It has sequels on the DS that include time travel and vore and babysockpuppets of the two. Ya, rly.

Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time

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A comic made by nintendo

Mario and Luigi go back and forth in time to save Peach because she is yet again kidnapped, this time by the shroobs, who are purple alien toads that have evil expression on their face. You jerk around doing utter bull

and find Peach after weeks of gameplay. You battle Princess Shroob to find out she's got a sister who was locked away in crud nobody cares about and kisses her dress in a battle that lasts an hour.

Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story (Inflation: The Game)

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Power Ups for Mario and Luigi

Fawful returns, butthurt over Cackletta's death in the first game, and plots to take over the Mushroom Kingdom by giving everyone weird mushrooms that bloat them up to immobility. Then he feeds Bowser a "Vacuum Shroom" that makes him inhale the princess and the Mario brothers. The rest of the game is about tending to Bowser's butthurt for Fawful turning his castle into a theater and you have to do stuff with Mario and Luigi like going into Bowser's butt to restore his life by anally ravaging him. Srsly.

There's also a moment where Boos force feed Bowser until immobility. Yeah.

Trivia

  • It is a known fact that Mario was created by Sino-Japenese guys. However, he is an Italian person.
  • Baby Yoshi is known to eat 2 Marios per day.
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    Mario's Rival

  • Mario's name is a pun on the term "Tario" which means to yell "OI!" when you are sinking in a tar pit.
  • Mario also once was friends with a cloud that thinks he was a frog and a big living doll.
  • Yoshi cookies were planned also for Mario cookies but were canceled but where an item in Super Mario RPG and the remix Shupa Malleo RPG
  • Mario is enemies with Sonic but no one knows why Mario let Sonic in Smash Bros.
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    Mario in the Super Mario Bros Super Show

  • Mario is also a doctor but since he stuffs over-sized pills in people even when they just feel very bad or have too many rashes, Peach had to put up a sign saying "Don't let Dr.Mario touch you, he's not a real doctor!" all over the Mushroom Kingdom and he got arrested for killing people when he was supposed to heal them.
  • Mario does not eat pizza pie because it isn't Italian.
  • Mario is friends with Schezo Wegey, a highly popular pervert and pervert king. Mario is SICK.
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    Mario in the Super Mario Bros 3 Cartoon

  • Mario can only fall asleep to the sound of flying airplane decapitations.
  • YOU ALL SUCK!
  • He is an actor for The Super Wario Bros. Wah-wah Show! (REMAKE).

Mario Tag Stats

  • Strength: 3/5
  • Speed: 3.5/5
  • Jump: 4/5
  • Special ability: 3.3/5

Gallery