Mario

From the Un-Mario Wiki, the Mario no-ledge-base.

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called "experts" at MarioWiki have a real article on Mario.

“It's-a no ledger, Mario!”
—Mario Mario is one of the least popular and most obscure videogame characters ever (though fan boys argue he's the least obscure most popular videogame character). He originally appeared as a brand of cookies during the 1600s. Kids enjoyed the cookies immensely, so the Super Mario Cookies were mass-marketed, and later Luigi cookies were made. After Mario and Luigi got very popular in the 1600s, Mario began appearing in forms of entertainment. Mario was frequently inserted into Rennaissance works of literature and art, such as William Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet and the famous painting Mario Lisa.

In the late 1900s, classical works became much less popular. While Mario was walking one day down the street, he met Shigeru Miyamoto who gave him a job at Nintendo so he could create videogames. He was soon a classic hit. However, problems started. The rival videogame characters Sonic and Pacman showed up on the scene and became more famous than Mario. Then came the Videogame War where Mario Fans, Pacman Fans and Sonic Fans fought everywhere.

Kids fought in school arguing who was better Mario, Pacman or Sonic, many got kicked out of schools for fighting, and not only did kids fight but adults too so many of them got fired. The Videogame Wars lasted for 30 years, when the creator of Sonic died and everyone forgot about Sonic, while Pacman's creator forgot about Pacman and instead got a girlfriend. Sonic games were then brought back when Zatoru Ivata joined Sega, however.

While the Videogame War was on, videogame makers were afraid of making Mario games so instead they created Luigi games. To this day, Mario videogames are now becoming less popular and they're instead making Mario foods-cookies, lollipops, sodas. The production of these products stopped when Mario stopped being as famous and was kidnapped by Evil Guy and killed.

New Mario was Mario's replacement. He was not a cookie, which was plus. He loved to breakdance though, and was fired. Later, he was hired again as an old man after Cario (his replacement, a red buggy) was totalled, until he quit in the 1880s. He was replaced by Rapper Mario, until Rapper Mario died while fighting in the Foreign Legion. Kilogramio would be his next replacement before his life ended when he stood on a thin ledge above lava and broke through it due to weighing 1000 Kilograms. Smallio would take his place, until he became angry that people were stomping on him. As a result, he was fired. Lario would proceed to take his place afterward, but retired after being received so well. Hitario was Lario's replacement, but was fired when Nintendo discovered that he looked nothing like Mario, but more like some other guy! After Hitario was fired, he was replaced by Dry Mario, a dry bones-like version of Mario. Dry Mario starred in a few shames, but then caused the death of several Nintendon't staff. As revenge, Dry Mario was executed. He was replaced by Mummio, a mummy version of Mario. Eventually, Mummio got his bandages caught. Since he had nothing underneath the bandages, Mummio fell apart and was technically dead. Mummio was then replaced by Wario however once Nintendo found out he was a member of the X-Men he was fired.

Nintendo hired Mario and his friends again because Napolean had used his Revival Machine to revive Mario. Soon, Mario angry at Nintendo formed the Fantastic Four which was originally supposed to be enemies of Nintendo. He quit and was replaced by Malleo. His new girlfriend, Peach and his brother Luigi and his friend Yoshi joined the gang but Luigi liked Nintendo so they instead became enemies of the X-Men. After Malleo was killed by Daisy, Mario became slightly more popular and contonues on making new games. In the filming of Super Nintendo Bros. Brawl he had to be replaced by New Mario after getting sick. New Mario later died in real life while doing a stunt in a cut scene. The original Mario came, but caused all crimes known to men (and several known to cicadas). He then was replaced by Tario, a Mario made out of tar, but Tario melted on a very hot day. Mario then returned and is currently working for Shiggy. Mario's currently in America, which Dr. Rabbit recently went to and he is in Super Mario Bros: Great Mission to save that Bimbo without Mario and Luigi.

Gallery

Mario in his natural habitat

A closeup of Mario's beautiful face.

Trivia

• It is a known fact that Mario was created by Sino-Japenese guys. However, he is an Italian person.
• He once lived in America; now he lives in some fictional universe.
• Baby Yoshi is known to eat 2 Marios per day.

Mario Tag Stats

• Strength: 3/5

• Speed: 3.5/5

• Jump: 4/5

• Special ability: 3.3/5

Mario and Replacements
Original Mario | New Mario | Cario | Rapper Mario | Kilogramio | Smallio | Lario | Hitario | Dry Mario | Mummio | Wario | Malleo | Tario | Meegee | Marreoh | Captain Lou Albano