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MarioandLuigiTeh4w3s0m3Adventure

The game's boxart in Europe and Communist China.

Mario & Luigi: Teh 4w3s0m3 Adventure is a decidedly horrid shame for the Lintendo DS. As its name implies, it stars Mario, Luigi, and Colonel Sanders in a TTLY 4w3s0m3 adventure.

Gameplay

Mario & Luigi: Teh 4w3s0m3 Adventure plays like any typical turn-based role-playing shame, so Mario, Luigi, and the Colonel start on a mostly pointless overworld and initiate battle when they touch a hater. The player firstly starts out with only Mario and Luigi in his control, although after Teh Pathz0r is beaten, they save Colonel Sanders from an evil Super Duper Thingie. At this point, the three protagonists have only their Hand Powers (which allow them to touch an enemy, knocking three HP out of themselves and restoring two to the enemy), although they are later given Smoked Sausages to whack haters with. Later in the game, they are also given Axes to behead foes with, and, lastly, they are rewarded with huge, shreddy Chainsaws. They can also do Bros. Attacks (even though none of them are actually brothers) that use up BP but inflict more damage on haters; these attacks include Poke Bros., Frankfurter Bros., Death Bros., and Manically Homicidal Chainsaw Bros.

It is possible to use the Power Glove with this game, but one must eat his own hand in order to do so.

Story

Mario & Luigi: The 4w3s0m3 Adventure's story unfolds at Cowser Shrine, where Bowser and Kamek perform strange rituals before Kamek casts a spell on the door before him. The door then transforms into a huge portal, out of which comes Cowser, Bowser's obscure sister from an alternate dimension seen only in Mario is Missing and the television program The Super Wario Bros. Wah-wah Show!. Bowser then revealed that he, wishing to kill Mario and Luigi, had plotted to team up with Cowser and lure the Marios to his keep with Mario's pet piece of cheese which he had previously kidnapped. Cowser, revealing a few of her dimension's haters (specifically two Coopa Troopas and a Super Duper Thingie) then agreed to this on the condition that Bowser give her a Waffle. The Koopa King did so.

The next day, Mario and Luigi, after a long night of committing unspeakable crimes of all sorts, returned to Mario's Pad, where Mario was shocked to see that his beloved pet Cheesy was gone. Mario then decided he would follow Cowser's huge, blatantly obvious footpaths to a whole new 4w3s0m3 adventure, and he dragged Luigi along, too. The pair next traversed across Teh Pathz0r, where they found many Super Duper Thingies, including a large, upright one which had kidnapped Colonel Sanders. Mario and Luigi saved the Colonel from the monster, and he decided to join them and informed them to head to his Kentucky Dried Chicken shop (which actually sold Smoked Sausages) in N00bzville. They obeyed his command and traveled to N00bzville, a large, N00ba-filled forum where KDC was the center of it all. Colonel Sanders then awarded them with Smoked Sausages to whack enemies with, and they were off yet again.

The group next found blatantly obvious footprints (this time Bowser's) in Pwnage Valley, a large desert next to N00bzville. They then climbed LOLOLOLOLOLOL MOUTNAIN, a huge, towering mountain (or "moutnain"), where they found Cowser and Bowser resting. They then attacked the two and fought, although they proved themselves to be too weak and stupid to win and were blasted all the way to ROFL ITSA SEABED Seabed. Here, they fought of haters like Bloopers, Stoopers, and Dumb Pixelated Things until they made it to an island called Island Island.

At Island Island, Mario, Luigi, and Sanders beat up the natives until they told them which way Bowser and Cowser (most of whom they were not even familiar with) went. Then, Mario's crew traveled northward until they reached the L33t Peet, a huge fighting arena. They then signed up to be a fighting team in the L33t Peet for some random reason and later won Teh Gold Metalz0r of teh 1337 Peet (after beating even the Peet's founder) before progressing to Bowser's Castle itself (which they found lying randomly on pickleraft). Here, they eat cheese, fight Koopas, and beat Bowser, who tells Cowser to continue fighting for him and to kill Mario. Cowser misunderstands and instead kills Bowser, though, and escapes with Cheesy back to her own ceep. Despite its being filled with Coopa Troopas and RLY Super Duper Thingies, the Mario Bros. and Colonel Sanders find it very easy and soon find themselves battling Cowser, who has three HP and no defense. After they win this long and terrifying battle (which is made even harder by the fact that Cowser does not even attack), they reclaim Cheesy, who Mario decides to squish and destroy.

MariosPad

Mario and Luigi at Mario's Pad celebrating.

After a long journey, Mario and Luigi return to Mario's Pad to celebrate, although they there die of cancer. (It should be noted that Colonel Sanders had previously died in the battle with Bowser and Nobody had bothered to revive him.)

Development

Mario & Luigi: The 4w3s0m3 Adventure started life as a small microchip which Shigeru Miyamoto accidentally dropped into a vat of Chili. It was then transformed into a Chili Dog and shipped to China, where it was eaten by a dog. The dog then died after eating the early remnants of the terrible game, and vultures pecked at his insides. One of these vultures found the torn microchip, which it spat into the Pacific Ocean. Here it slipped through Brooklyn's drainpipes and was eaten by a sewer gator and later became... gator feces. It was soon washed off by clean sewer waters and carried out into the Arctic Ocean, where it froze and was preserved for the next ten thousand years. (By the way, Shigeru Miyamoto is IMMORTAL.) After finally floating into Florida, it thawed and was eaten by a fish which was later caught by a fisherman named Fred and sold to a Captain D's restaurant. Shigeru Miyamoto was conveniently and randomly eating at this restaurant when he found the fish, ate it, and later regurgitated the finished game. He laughed evilly. His devious plan had worked...

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