Mario Kart: Quintuple Dash!! is a gargatuan-sized shame that will be released for the Nintendo Game-Polygon-of-Two-Sides sometime in 2008. It features shamefully poor graphics, shamefully poor characters and a 5-player type shameplay.

How in the world Nintendo had this idea

Satoru Iwata was doing nothing in his messed room, when he saw five ants on a leaf out of his window, so he decided to create the game.

Sony vs. Nintendo

Sony tried to steal the game idea from Nintendo using a spy, but Birdo noticed the spy and threw him to the moon. Later, the Sony president cried out loud for 5 hours and went inside the Nintendo Headquarters to kill Birdo, but he was threw into a wardrobe and appeared in the world of "The Chronicles of Narnia: the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe". 1 month before the release of the game, Sony uses an expertly trained spy to capture Birdo and is successful but still didn't get the idea after being captured by Mario.


The default characters are total nincompoops

  • Wa-Evil Guy
    • Apparently a good Evil Guy
    • Speed: a total loser in this category: 1 cm/h
    • Weight: 5000kg
    • Acceleration: Surprisingly enough, his acceleration is absurdly fast: 1,000,000,000,000 kilometres per second (This makes him impossible to handle)
  • Bianca Rinaldy
    • The biggest loser in the whole wide world, she's complete nincompoop that cant solve 1+1
    • Speed: 15 km/h
    • Weight: she did the Matkins diet and now she weighs just 7 grams
    • Acceleration: 0.1
  • Wicked Guy
    • Evil Guy's evil brother
    • Speed: 60 
    • Weight: He didn't leave me say.
    • Acceleration: 2.0

How to play

The controller of the console, has no buttons, so the gameplay is still unknown.

Unlockable Characters

  • Galaxy Guy
    • A galactic Shy Guy, the one of the only good characters in the game.
    • Speed: 90km/h
    • Weight: 80 kilos
    • Acceleration: 7.0
    • How to Unlock: beat Wa-Evil Guy in the on Rainbow Road
  • Peach
    • She's just not worse than Bianca Rinaldy, but she's WAAAAAAAAAAY dumb, making it impossible to control.
    • Speed: 18 km/h
    • Weight: 45 kg
    • Acceleration: 0.6
    • Get 01'45'05 exactly at Room of Inquisition
  • More than evil Bianca Rinaldy
    • An eviler version of Bianca Rinaldy (unnecessary, since Bianca Rinaldy herself is already too evil)
    • Speed: 20 km/h
    • Weight: 100 kg
    • Acceleration: 0.01
    • Play with the controller (With no controller, this is impossible.) upside down at Evil Guy's Plaza and lose.
  • Mario
    • Still unnemployed.
    • Speed:30 
    • Weight: 250  (he ate too much pasta)
    • Acceleration: unknown
    • Kill Peach (level 999) with the Bianca Brigade (level 405) in Kill-Peach Mode
  • Pichu
    • Uber cute version of pikachu. Best character ever and cute enough to be good
    • Speed: 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 km/h
    • Weight: .000000001 mg
    • Acceleration: 5 more than everyone else
    • Randomly explode,then eat a waffle
  • Pikachu
    • A loser.
    • Speed: 0 km/h
    • Weight: 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 tonnes
    • Acceleration: 0
    • Kill Ash and Prof. Oak in Kikory Forest Riverside
  • George W Bush
    • The US president, one of the worst characters in the game.
    • Speed: 2 
    • Weight: 170 kg
    • Acceleration : 0.002
    • Download Mickey Speed Day ASU and have a save of it in your strange Memory Card, then somehow put it in the game console
  • Carita de Angel
    • The best character in the game, almost impossible to unlock.
    • Speed: 780 
    • Weight: 75 kg
    • Acceleration: 120.0
    • How to unlock: first play in defeat Bianca Mode, beat the evilest version of Bianca Rinaldy : Bianca Nightmare, backwards, with your eyes closed and WITHOUT touching the controller. After this beat Rainbow Road with 0'45'00.
  • Evil Guy
    • Use a Sony Memory Card to save the game.
    • Why: Sony just could steal Evil Guy from Nintendo

Game Modes

  • Mario GP

A regular GP

  • Kill Peach Mode

Just kill Peach

  • Defeat Bianca Mode

Defeat without mercy Bianca Rinaldy

  • Battle-Ballons

You use square-shaped ballons and must kill the other racers.


Team up with five losers and try to win.


  • 25cc
    • Nadja Cup
    • WawaCup
    • Loser Cup
  • 75cc
    • DQ Cup
    • Total Cup
    • Ronald Cup
  • 1000cc
    • Rainbow Cup
    • Unique Cup
    • Mario Cup

Mario Kart: Quadruple Dash!!!!
Most exclamation marks in a shame title
Was pwned by:
Mario Kart: Whatever the next one is Dash!!!!!!

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