The Overlord's henchmen and their Headquarters (Hanna-Barbera characters, but who give a shit).

“You have selected Microsoft Sam as the computer's default voice...’”
Microsoft Sam
Microsoft sam.2

Most Guy's opinion (and probably most likely) version of what this ancient evil looks like.

Microsoft sam is the legend of Windows XP and an evil mastermind along with Microsoft Anna. He is also known for saying "My ROFL copter goes soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi". Nobody except his crew (who don't tell anyone what he looks like) has ever seen him in person, but just about everyone has heard his annoying voice. He also likes playing really crazy games. He is rumoured to be a distant relative of Internet The Explorer. He was one of the Ancient Geeks but was entombed inside a Pie for 10,000,000,000 years. When he awoke he found Mario cookies all the rage and heard there were plans to make a video game of him which was to be made by a small branch of Cheese shops called Nintendo. He got a job there and participated in several commercials. With the help of Ronald McDonald he rose to become the president of Nintendo but he was soon fired when he gave the staff toast but failed to recognize it as Waluigi's.

He was banished to Subway Space for all enernity and had to survive on eating cheap sandwiches made with special sauce. He became mutated and swore vengeance on Nintendo and vowed to destroy planet Japan. At some point during his time in Subway Space he created the Waddle-Dee's. When he finally returned he joined Microsoft and became Bill Gates's butler and text to speech for his computers. He has a somewhat large part in the development for the IX-Box and the Ix-Box 7,584,269.3 and will someday overthrow Bill Gates and rule the video game industry. "haah haah haah" was all Microsoft Sam had to say in his usual bored tone according to Wario over the phone when he asked him about this. But he found out that Bill Gates was already killed by Deidara, so he has learnt Katsu and plans to kill Deidara. It is also rumored that he is Master Chief but that rumor is probrably wrong. He once asked for a job in the Squadala Empire army but they refused... He also voices an action figure named Master Chief, who in his action figure form, talks like a swearing 8-year old, for a popular Machinima spoofing a shame known as Halo 3, called Arby 'n The Chief. He was also in microsofts army of evil.

Meeting The Invertebrate Pirates

Later on in life, Microsoft Sam visited the Taco Space Durby, somewhere in New Pork City. The durby actually turned out as a secret base for the Political Phreaks, so they could capture criminals to enslave them and/or turn them in. It turns out he went their a few days after a member of the Invertebrate Pirates, Chuckie Finster, was captured and sent thar. The day he visited was the day his pirate crew invaded to rescue Chuckie. A riot was caused by the crew, and Sam was forced to flee. However, Squidward pinned him down with his massive strength. He asked where Finster was, but Sam, in his monotone voice, just said "I don't know." He then followed Squiddy and his crew, where they fought Barack Obama in the Barracks, where they rescue Chuckie. Sam then joined the crew.


Sam swore revenge on all those that defied him (aka the Squadala Empire and Nintendo), so he joined forces with Bill Gates to construct Dr. Malleo, an evil deathtron intended to use unsterilized syringes to infect the whole of the Squadala Empire with Cbeebies, this plan failed when he mistook him for a CD player and replaced his (E:) drive (ake The Evil Drive) with a Weird Al CD.

After this mishap Sam snuck away from Bill Gates' mansion of evil in the night and joined forces with New Mario to destroy Nintendo! Together they spliced the genes of a goomba, a chocolate chip cookie and Bob The Builder (the most evil builder/warrior know to man) and created a race of super Evil Biscuits to destroy Nintendo, when this plan failed and the biscuits retreated to earth and became Your Grandma Sam finally gave. He retired to a lovely holiday home in the South of France and got married to The AT&T Voices Pack, then he died in the night.


When the elite detective agency; The Powerpuff Guys, started investigating his death, they found out that he had been poisoned by the most least likely suspect: The King of Hyrule. The King of Hyrule had invested 10,000 peanuts in the Ix-Box 7,584,269.3 but when Microsoft Sam tried to destroy Nintendo, Shigeru Miyamoto had blamed Microsoft and started the Third Console War, in which the Death Cube was destroyed along with the Ix-Box 7,584,269.3 plans! With Sam dead, his Cookie business would be ruined and the King of Hyrule would have revenge. But before he could sell Sam's body to Microsoft, it was stolen by a Mysterious Bounty Hunter. His corpse was revived in the Cauldron of Evil and imprisoned on the Nintendo prison planet; 0-1 (aka Earthbound).

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