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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called "experts" at MarioWiki have a real article on Samus Aran.
Samus is a Cheese Hater from space and grew up as a space bounty hunter. She has made it her goal
Samus2

Samus as she appears in EvilGuy 008.

in life to destroy Ridley because he killed her parents. She appears in Metroid Prom and EvilGuy 008.

In Metroid Prom

In Metroid Prom, Samus is the main character and must dance with as many boys as she can. This doesn't have anything to do with the story, but she's a teenager in the shame, so what else did you expect?

Link

Link was technically Samus' boyfriend, but Zelda found out link was in love with Samus, so Zelda made link her slave FOR LIFE!!!!

Samus3

Samus with her ex-boyfriend, Link.

In EvilGuy 008

Samus also made an appearance in the movie EvilGuy 008, where she served as a side character and rival-turned-friend for Evil Guy. She is a valuable character throughout the adventure, blowing up the Teletubby Death Star and saving Shadow Kirby's life.

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