—The Movie Reviewer
The Texas Spaghetti Massacre was a horror movie about spaghetti that starred Mario and his friends. Later, someone stole the idea and turned it into The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
A group of people are driving their car through Texas when they see a spaghetti factory that's been abandoned years ago. When they enter the factory, one by one, they meet a spaghetti-noodle wielding killer who wants to finish them off with spaghetti-based means. Will they escape? Dun dun dun dun . . .
- Mario - He loves spaghetti, which makes it his weakness
- Luigi - He's a tough guy who wants to take charge of the situation and go in the factory (big mistake)
- Wario - He's the cop who tries to prove that nothing's wrong (big mistake)
- Peach - She's kind of stupid
- Daisy - She goes into the factory with Luigi
- Yoshi - Got a long tongue
- Birdo - She's Yoshi's girlfriend despite Birdo's a transvestite
- Bowser - He's only going with them because of the carpool
Oh, and Waluigi's in here, too.
The gang is driving their car through Texas when they see Waluigi, a weird hitch-hiker on the side of the road. They stop and pick him up, but when they do, he starts all spazzing out, cutting himself up and crap. So, they kick him out. He screams at them, so they keep driving.
Later, they drive up to an old, abandoned spaghetti factory and stop there. They realize that they're lost and decide to go in to see if someone can give them directions. Luigi volunteers to go inside, and Daisy follows him. Once they're inside, they decide to split up: Luigi goes into the assembly line room, and Daisy goes into some storage room. When Luigi is in the assembly line, he sees several noodles of spaghetti there. An evil, shadowy figure suddenly enters and grabs a spaghetti noodle. Then, the guy starts whipping Luigi with the noodle. He screams and tries to get away, but the killer keeps whipping him, until he dies.
Meanwhile, everyone else is in the car. They're wondering what's taking Luigi and Daisy so long, so they send Mario, Peach, and Bowser to go inside and check on them. They stay together and go down into the basement. They keep hearing creepy noises, and then they hear a sound of a whip and screaming. Then, Mario and Peach realize that Bowser is gone. They run back into the room that they were in, and find him hanging from the ceiling, whipped to death with spaghetti noodles. Just then, the killer enters, with a meatball gun. The killer says, "You will all succumb to the spaghetti," and shoots Peach with the meatball gun, killing her. Mario screams and runs away, and the killer starts laughing, and says, "You cannot escape!"
The only ones left in the car are Yoshi and Birdo, and they're alone, and Yoshi is doing really naughty things with his long tongue (i.e. licking the steering wheel). Then, Yoshi looks and sees someone coming out of the factory. He thinks it's one of his friends, but it's not. Instead, it's a giant blob of living spaghetti. The Spooky Spaghetti Ghosty comes up to the car and tries to get inside, but it's locked. He starts banging on the windows and screaming. Yoshi and Birdo get freaked out and drive away. Then, when Birdo looks back to see if the Spooky Spaghetti Ghosty is following them, she sees Waluigi's dead body lying next to the road. She screams and tells Yoshi to floor it, so he drives away.
Afterwards, Toad is driving a truck near the factory when it breaks down. Toad gets out and sees the Spooky Spaghetti Ghosty walking toward him. When the Spooky Spaghetti Ghosty whips him with the spaghetti noodle, Toad screams and runs into the factory. The ghosty doesn't follow him. Then, he walks into the basement, where he sees a giant spaghetti strainer. Suddenly, the killer picks him up and puts him in the strainer, turning him into permanent spaghetti.
A few hours later, Yoshi and Birdo are with Wario, the cop, who's driving them back to help. Yoshi warns him about the Spooky Spaghetti Ghosty. Wario says there's no such thing. Then, the ghosty appears and grabs Wario and pulls him out of the car, causing it to crash. He covers Wario with spaghetti sauce, killing him. Yoshi and Birdo are all right, but the ghosty comes after them. Yoshi pulls out his Jumbo Fork and starts twirling the Spooky Spaghetti Ghosty with it. The Jumbo Fork is his weakness, and the ghosty flees. Yoshi and Birdo drive the car back to the factory to help their friends.
When Yoshi and Birdo arrive at the spaghetti factory, they split up. Birdo goes into the meatball room. She doesn't know that the killer is on the ceiling, with a giant meatball. The killer throws the giant meatball on Birdo, crushing her to death.
Meanwhile, Mario walks into the room of ravioli. He sees spaghetti and eats it. Then, he sees the killer. The killer chases him through the factory. Mario locks himself into a room, where he sees Yoshi and Daisy inside. They sit down and decide that the killer has to be one of them. Daisy tries to blame Yoshi, but they find bits of spaghetti on her hands. Daisy then reveals that she killed everyone, and she pulls out her spaghetti whip. But, then, Waluigi comes in and says that he faked his own death and that Daisy was just his meat puppet to kill everyone. He then steals the spaghetti whip and kills Daisy with it, and laughs maniacally.
Yoshi says, "So, you killed everyone?" Waluigi says, "Yep." Yoshi says, "But what about the Spooky Spaghetti Ghosty?" Waluigi says, "What Spooky Spaghetti Ghosty?" Just then, the Spooky Spaghetti Ghosty crashes into the room and eats Waluigi. Yoshi pulls out the Jumbo Fork and twirls the ghosty on it, then throws the ghosty into the boiler, killing it.
Then, as Mario and Yoshi are driving home, Mario barfs up the spaghetti he ate. The living spaghetti vomit comes alive and attacks Mario, and he and Yoshi scream. Is it over?
- This movie was scarier than Scary Movie.
- Ten people died in this movie; that's almost 8.
- This was the 9,000 movie ever made.
- Originally, in this movie, Birdo was going to get made into a giant meatball, but that would be gross.
- This movie was rated G, meaning that it's okay for little kids to see it. However, the ratings people made a mistake.